a Lotto-nerve-aphobia - Fear that when I’m in a big hurry, the person in front of me at Stewarts will need to play 46 separate games of Lotto, Take Five and Keno. a Wrong-line-aphobia - Fear that whatever line I pick at the supermarket, the woman in front of me will have the wrong coupons, challenged several prices and keep me a prisoner in this store for the next two weeks. I don’t know why I’d want anything with the word “dead” in it near my face, but her foreign intrigue tricks me into spending $50 on a 3-ounce jar of mud.
WHATS YOUR FEAR SKIN
a Hot-chick-selling-dead-sea-phobia - This is a fear that a really attractive girl with a foreign accent at the mall will talk me into buying some skin care products from the Dead Sea. a Cologne-a-chok-phobia - Fear that if I go into Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch at the mall I’ll be overcome with the smell of cheap cologne, collapse and they’ll mistake me for a mannequin and dress me like a guy from the Jersey Shore. a Feeling-pale-a-phobia - Fear that whenever I’m around Albany’s mayor I look like a cast member from “Twilight” and need to go tanning immediately. a Great-escape-guy-aphobia - Fear of that weird looking old guy in the mask dancing around in the Six Flags/Great Escape commercials. a Spooey-phobia - Fear of getting off of Exit 6 of the Northway and having to negotiate my way around the new circular thing they call a “Spooey.” a Warm-spot-in-thepool-aphobia - Fear that if I’m in a public pool and find a pocket of warm water that I’ll see a 4-your-old nearby smiling at me. See if you can relate: a Dino-trojan-phobia - Fear spending half my paycheck at Dinosaur Barbecue once it opens. Living here in our great Capital Region, I have my own list of phobias you won’t find in any dictionary. And, of course, we have arachibutyrophobia, which is going through life terrified that peanut butter may get stuck to the roof of your mouth. Pteronophobia is someone afraid of being tickled with feathers. Don’t believe me? Sesquipedalophobia is the fear of long words. Look up any list of phobias and you realize there’s one for just about everything. I’ll tell you, we humans are one frightened bunch. Nothing serious, just a common case of lutraphobia - fear of otters. Later that day, you take a walk down by the river and your friend points at a furry critter, screeches and immediately climbs a tree. You clearly have pogonophobia - fear of beards. You scream and run for the back door, knocking over the barista who just made your low-fat, half-cafe macchiato. So you’re standing in Starbucks and a guy with a beard saddles up next to you and says hello.
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